Stress of titling this blog x

Hey hey home dawgs (desperately trying to be hip for my Standard six kids, they must think I'm such a freak with my constant hand movements and horrifically drawn pictures on the board..). I feel a million miles away from home (literally and metaphorically!), it's only my third in-country blog and already I feel as if my life has always been in the forest with the monkeys, being one of the only white people and walking barefoot through the mud. At this stage, it's normal. Well, not normal....let's not go THAT far! It's home. Never my real home, my Ballinteer, Dublin 16, Ireland home but Lukwe really is our African home. We have been doing so much travelling lately that by the end of every trip we are dying for our cosy beds in our little mud hut full of termites and oversized moths (and let's not forget us beautiful mots ;) . It's uncomfortable at times, of course but that only makes the experience more of a challenge and altogether more rewarding. A few of the lattitude volunteers in the South have such luxory items as fridges and toasters ( I miss toast so God Damn much, It is just not the same in a frying pan!!! ) , even a flushing toilet. When we visit we curse them and drink their sweet sweet cold water but overall, I would never have gotten the real experience that I wanted if we weren't living how we are. Heck I would do pretty much anything for a real oven or a kettle but really it's the sacrifice of these unimportant things that will effect me most positively in the long run. Living with a family, we can slightly understand the hardship that faces these people everyday but even then we remain unaware of the crippling poverty in Malawi. Rainy season is the hardest for everyone here. The maize is only growing now, people are living off last year's poor harvest and said season will not be for many months. Though we know that the people appreciate that we don't have running water or electricity, that we cook on a fire,that we buy locally. They warm to us more everyday and are always asking us questions about our home countries, families, what we think of Malawi. When the homesickness gets bad, I ask myself 'What on earth posessed me to leave my comfortable, happy, fun and easy Western life for one of complete self-reliance, discrimination and endless walking? And for SEVEN MONTHS!? I must have a screw loose..'. But then I step back and evaluate the situation. I've only been in Malawi for two months, it has taken me every second of this time to come to terms with the fact that I am actually here, let alone that I live and work here too. And only now is the community really accepting our presence and embracing it. I have finally realised that even seven months isn't enough, that I would extend my stay if I could (if I didn't miss my mum so much!) and establish as many long-term programmes as possible. Certain moments really remind me of the importance of the time we have here, as hard as it is to deal with and accept this new life. One particular moment stands out so clearly in my head. It was a hectic morning at the nursery, we were teaching E, F, G and H to a group of forty or so hyper aged two to four year olds, repeating over and over the letters until our brains were close to alphabet overload and the words sit and down had imprinted themselves upon the wall when an eager knock came at the door. Thinking that one of the kids had arrived late, I prepared my new signature scowl but to my surprise it was a woman from the women's group whom we had only properly met for the first time two days previous...

After a very formal (and typically long, Malawian) meeting with the Mtende founder, we were encouraged to attend a banking meeting between the women. Each group of five was to be given MK10,000 (malawian kwacha, our equivalent of about twenty-five euro) through a government scheme designed to encourage the women of rural villages to establish their own small businesses, a new way to empower women who would otherwise have hardly any income . It's a big deal and they were all so excited. We went through forms with them, sat in sheer embarrassment while Peter explained that we find mzungu offensive and that we had promised to learn fluent ChiTumbucka. It was a massive breakthrough, the women don't seem to take to visitors, even other females, as quickly as the men do. Perhaps this is due to the reality that here, women rarely have the confidence or the right to speak to even their husband or brother unless spoken to. I often wonder how we appear to these people..as free or rude, maybe just ignorant. These questions buzz around my head daily here.. And so what came from this meeting was the wonderful Ellen who arrived carrying a tray of macadamia nuts and eggplant. Immediately I thought she had come to sell, a habit not yet kicked, when she addressed me by name and offered me the gift. She had the brightest smile as she laughed over my insistence on paying and my deepest thanks. She said "No, I thank you. Your work with Hiv/Aids awareness will enable others to live as long as I have. I tested positive in 2004 and look at me, I am still alive today whereas all of my friends, including my husband have died. If I had not had any education about my illness, I would not be standing before you Jennifer. If ever you need food, anything, please come and take from my garden. In Mantchewe it is too shameful to admit that you are suffering with this illness, people never get tested even if they are very sick, they live in silence. Please educate this community and others. Together we can do so much good".It had been a hard and pressured week, all we wanted was to get away from the mountain and spend a week by the lake. After that speech I felt so at home, so welcomed into this wonderful community that seemed to have so many problems but so much spiritnand determination . Emma felt the exact same when I told her. We were truly touched by the gesture. That evening we cracked macadamia nuts with rocks with the kids and made yummy aubergine stew for everyone. It just made our week. What had made it so difficult for us was the pressure from all sides here, we felt overwhelmed by the task before us:

On the Tuesday we had visited Mtende centres in Chitimba and Ulirwa, a true reality check for all of us. We had done the normal hour and a half walk down the Gorodi (the mountain road which t-shirts are sold about saying 'I survived the Gorodi' - serious shit!) with Peter, Reverend Locking, Will & Toby - I stupidly wore flip-flops and ended up with disgraceful looking feet after too many rocky shortcuts, I was also left feeling very age confused after the neverending chorus of 'Come on Gran!' -_-).    The car was such a luxory, a very welcome one too, in comparison to the cramped conditions of a Malawian minibus. We drove up a red dirt track off the main road towards the most spirited singing I have ever heard. We were warmly welcomed by nearly eighty people before being ushered to the front of a hall packed with men, women and children. We were overwhelmed to say the least. There we sat in front of perhaps 300 people, all waiting for us to bring some kind of message of hope. Despite this we showed big smiles of appreciation while bright eyes stared at the four of us in great anticipation. Reverend Locking welcomed everyone in prayer, as is the custom, and began to speak to the crowd in ChiTumbucka about Mtende and us as volunteers while Peter translated the important parts in English. Our worry only grew as we heard what the director had to say...he basically told these expectant, excited people that we had come all the way from our respective countries to change their lives and develop their community. Now, I know what you may be thinking: Isn't that what you ARE there to do...? Yes my good people, it is but janey mac, we were placed in Livingstonia for a reason, we have barely any time to fully dedicate our energies to those communities let alone numerous others in the North. We kept our brave faces intact for the sake of the crowd, feeling like ridiculous celebrities; holding it together 'for the fans'. We were asked questions about our intentions, our homes, what we thought of nsima (it is....interesting. Maize is much better than cassava anyway!). They thanked us profusely and offered to teach us ChiTumbucka any time. The people were so kind and sweet, we couldn't help but want to try to help them in any way possible...but how? and when? Four teenagers just out of highschol faced with the task of establishing a lasting community development project in a third world country. I, the one that never shuts up was pushed to make a speech... I thanked them and said uplifting things with phrases like "we'll do our best" and "when there is time" while reverand locking translated to chitumbuka. It was all so hopeful, these people sat there thinking that i would help bring their children through school. Here, it seems thats what everyone expects. Visiting the next centre only added to the weight starting to crush our shoulders. If we thought Mantchewe was poor and had limited supplies, we had not been prepared for Chilumuba. A good one hundred toddlers sat on the bare floor of an empty church while maybe twenty slept with no mat or blanket at the front of the room. We sat on a bench before them and were introduced individually ("this is jenny, she may be short but she's clever -_- ." Only because I'm placed beside theses three Southern Hemisphere giants, thank you! ). More community members gathered as the children (nursery school) began a show in our honour. The teacher brought in a bucket and would take out things from a flower to a spoon while the children called out what each thing was. It was amazing! These adorable three year olds could distinguish easily between each object in english, something our nursery school kids could definitley not do. Then a few stood up and introduced themselves in English, it was the sweetest thing! Even with such limited teaching materials this teacher had succeeded in making english accessible for these children. We were all amazed and felt so much respect for these people and their determination. This time Emma spoke, we made the rounds of shaking everyones hands before leaving. We stopped for roadside chips (OH MY GLOB <3) costing 45c or so a bag and headed back to the mountain, feeling a mix of emotions about what had just happened.

  That weekend our moods greatly improved with the soccer and netball matches between our school and a neighbouring primary school. Our training the previous week had these kids pumped and as we sat on the sidelines with our cute lil umbrellas shading us from the sun, Mantchewe absolutely creamed Wateezi in Netball. The supporters would go mental every time a point was scored, running onto the court and dancing while chanting at the other team. We got so into it that we would jump up off our chairs and join our students in their celebrations, their surprise at our enthusiasm was the icing on the cake. After a very necessary victory lap of the football pitch, the soccer began. This attracted even more excitement from the crowd with many climbing trees to watch and scream down at the players. We left halfway through to walk down the mountain for Bwengu where the rest of our friends were staying for the week. A massive volunteer house with a fridge, couches and electricity was just too good to miss! We took a minibus in the dark, felt a little scared as we're warned never to travel at night (sorry mum!) but we kept our wits about us and our belongings close, even the Warm Heart of Africa isn't always so warm! We chilled out for the night, pined over photos on facebook and withstood numerous attacks from an uncommon bout of wasps. The next day Emma and I left early for Mzuzu ; the nearest town; food stock had begun to run low...we were out of peanut butter!!!  Everything was rosy: a bus had come just as we sauntered onto the main road at 7am, we had a shopping list ready and we had found Mzuzu Coffee Den, a wonderful, special place that will undoubtedly feature very heavily in this blog for the next five months...we had TOASTED CHEESE SANDWICHES, takeaway coffee and cake: virtually impossible to find any of these things in Livingstonia. Disaster struck when, while I was at the checkout in Chipiku (an actual supermarket with shelves and fridges!), Emma's card was eaten by the ATM five minutes away. The lovely people in the shop minded my rucksack and groceries while we tried to find a way to get the card back and return to the bottom of the mountain before sundown. Back in Chipiku, I returned all of the comfort food that we definitely did not need, learning a big lesson about our need to budget if we were going to survive for another six months. We thankfully got the card back after a good twenty phonecalls and chats with friendly security guards before meeting up with Will and Toby and heading for Chitimba to get up the mountain. It had been raining heavily in Livingstonia and the road was closed to all vehicles except the University truck. Told by our country manager Matt that it was making a second trip at 5 o'clock, we stayed in Chitimba and had rice and beans in our new favourite restaurant in which everything is less than 2 euro for a big plate of food. Of course this second lift never made it back down the mountain and we were forced to stay the night in the Hakuna Matata beach lodge. Any initial annoyance at the fact that we had to fork out for a night's accomodation just because we couldn't lug our stuff up the mountain on foot in the dark was wiped away as towels were left on our beds for our first running hot water showers in a month. I'm not even exaggerating when I say that it was one of the freatest experiences of my life, I'm pretty sure we each spent a good hour soaking every drop right up. I dreamt of the power shower at home and vowed to never bad mouth it ever again. We went to sleep feeling clean for the first time in a long time, letting thoughts of changing lives and making promises behind us for one night of much needed good sleep. Our Sunday unfortunately consisted of waiting at the bottom for eight hours, filling up on roadside maize cake and bananas and then eventually finding a ride up on the back of a truck or 'ute' as the stubborn Australians feel the need to call them :P Our clean feeling was about to be completely wiped away as we clamboured onto the tray with 38 other people, mostly uni students, and their belongings. Some sat while we had the unfortunate bad luck to be standing as the truck ascended the Gorodi. We were a little more than surprised to find that Will and Toby still had ribs once we had all survived after Emma and I had gripped onto them for dear life on the 40 minute trip up the mountain road. Returning to our mud hut brought a smile to our faces and that night we ooked up our tomatoes, onions and whatever else we could find with rice with new vigour,  we were finally getting the hang of this Africa thing.

   The next week all we could think of was our trip to Nkhata Bay on the Friday. We had been organising it for weeks, Danni's 18th was the Saturday and we had big plans. All but four of the Malawi volunteers were making their way to the lakeside resort famous for its food and parties. We also had a week off from there and were so pumped to discover more of Malawi and take a break from lesson planning and porridge making! In anticipation for the Bay the only exciting parts of the week were the building of a new wood pile for the rainy season which meant dry wood for the fire, turning solid and making our students carry bricks for being late to class (perfectly normal and right when they're an hour late! If I were a Malawian student I would get serious neck problems, punctuality is just such a recognisable skill in moi!), carrying a very impressive 20 litres on the noggin, realising that anything white from home will never again be the same and also that the Malawian diet is not having a good effect on our figures! Friday came at just the right time as we headed for school with our rucksacks, looking like the tourists we always fight not to be (we get way too offended when people in the village still think we are). Once again dreams of a smooth journey to the bay were crushed when, having reached the bottom of the mountain with Toby, we found out that Will was waiting at the top with a bucket of honey (he's a beekeeper xD) to send to Lilongwe.

So we waited, typical Malawi style at the bottom of the mountain of the mountain in a bus with a very nice bus driver for a good two hours until Will arrived in an ambulance on its way to collect a very sick patient in the nearest town... never thought it'd be lucky that someone was feeling ill :/ We were on our way to Nkhata Bay!

   Seeing the other volunteers after a month of no contact was great. We all had so many different experiences and stories to share with one another, we had all had our own piece of Malawi and were keen to discover others! Two girls from Ngara had danced on a stage with the Vice President of Malawi, four of the guys in Central had seen hippos up close already and were staying in an area where the witchcraft influence was massive and was greatly effecting their students at school (if you lost at football the other team had put a curse on your goal to let the balls in! Witchcraft is much bigger in Malawi than we ever realised..). Many people had fallen off bicycle taxis but that's all part of the fun really, they cost 25c for an average journey and are extremely comfy, lucky my brother Derek has taken me on the back of his fold up bike too many times to count, I am well used to it! Many of the volunteers had travelled 15hours on a night bus from the very end of Malawi to get to Nkhata Bay so we had had it lucky. We all felt much less alien and out of place at Mayoka Village and Nkhata Bay in general. We immediately jumped at dinner, it was bbq night but they had tonnes of veggie options. The food was so freakin good, potato salad and grilled aubergine - I was in heaven! We had missed having food prepared for us, we had missed decent food! We had showers and shared stories over games of Bao (like Mankala but at the same time quite different - here in Malawi people are mad about it!) and for some ridiculous reason I got one dread (Linda I hope you are oh so proud of me)...it was a spur of the moment I can tell you :P Maybe I'll get a full head...you never know! Africa can turn you a little crazy...as we've found with a fair few people we have met on our travels but thankfully most have kept their distance, ah we learn more about the world everyday! At midnight (we were staying up late in Malawi like the rebels we really had not been thus far) we celebrated Danni turning 18 and danced with the other residents and adorable barmen. We ended the night with a quick dip in the lake, which is so clear and beautiful you can't Not swim in it! The rest of Nkhata Bay was spent pretty much the same. Walking into town and discovering a cute little second-hand market (I will never again be buying from a high-street shop, second hand is too good to pass out!), making avocado and tomato sandwiches (I've converted Emma to the glorious ways of avocado sandwiches and wayhay it's avocado season!!!) and paddling off in the Mayoka hallowed out fishing boats. Kiwi Michael, Aussie Nalita, Emma and I decided to race across the lake. Emma and I were just such pros and managed to stay in the whole time but Michael and Nalita couldn't get 10 metres without falling out. We decided to investigate, surely we weren't THAT legendary :P We soon found out that their boat was one of the most difficult to paddle in and was full of holes...ah. We also soon found out that if you made it halfway across the lake in this boat with your legs inside, without falling out, you got three nights accommodation for free. Sam and Tegan jumped at the chance but didn't they get in the good boat and set off without realising. They ended up going all the way across the bay to the other side never knowing that it was all in vain, they fell out plenty of times but got a free drink for their effort. We learned many important lessons in Nkhata Bay, mostly about dodgy Malawian wood-carving dealers and the importance of having eachother around for when things went wrong, let's not go into detail on that, I'm already boring you all with my excessive detail this time 'round I'm sure! We went on a boat trip on the Sunday and went snorkelling in Lake Malawi, went "cliff" jumping and played volleyball and traditional Malawian games on the beach with the locals. We returned very sunburnt and worn out, I was starting to worry about Bilharzia (lovely parasite found in the lake) but the availability of prophylactics from the local clinic sorted me right out! We left Nkhata on the Monday, fourteen of us had the week off while others had to head back to their placements. Our destination was Likoma Island and we were all excited for the boat across the lake into the waters of Mozambique. The 8 hour journey was endless but manageable despite the overcrowding and sacks of fish. Of course we ended up booking accommodation on the wrong island (thank you lonely planet!) but it worked out alright as Chizimulu Island was relaxed and friendly. We decided to wait and head for Likoma the next day. That night we swam and went to the local disco to dance with the fishermen (why are foreigners so fascinated with Irish dancing!? It's just too funny how excited everyone gets...the aussies were well impressed with my shkills :P). It still being Africa, we got stranded the next day, no boats were leaving the island! So we walked around, got chased by kids on the beach, swam in the rain and thought about how lucky we were to be getting these once in a lifetime chance to do any of these things. It got a bit emotional for all of us, realising that we had so much to accomplish but also so much time to go until we saw our family and friends again. Long distance was taking its toll on everyone and I finally knew what it meant to have come to Africa and left everything at home behind. It was a risk but , as everyone knew, it had always been my dream. The swarms of insects from the lake got easier to deal with and we spent the night sharing stories from home and reminiscing over our growing list of memorable Malawi moments. 

   We got to Likoma on the Wednesday afternoon. The little boat pulled up at Mango Drift while each of us stared in disbelief at the glory before us. Likoma Islands is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful places I have ever been in my entire life. The beach of golden sand stretched for miles and the serenity was exactly what all of us needed. Our bedrooms were a little piece of heaven, five euro a night meant flowers on your bed, mosquito nets without holes and an ensuite bathroom. The group meals were delicious, the owners friendly and happy to hear our many stories and we even managed to get scuba diving for something like 60 euro, virtually impossible anywhere else... We visited the cathedral and climbed to the top despite rickety ladders and a guide who couldn't stop laughing at our wariness of the siuation and got chased by twelve year old boys trying to kiss us, I had to pretend to be Grace's wifde just to get them to leave us alone!  The next day we went scuba diving in groups of four. I was in the afternoon group and we spent a good two hours getting the basics: breathing only through your mouth, telling your partner that your oxygen was out, clearing your mask of water using your nose (??), swimming with flippers and keeping upright despite the heavy oxygen tank. It was such an incredible experience. We went twelve metres on our first dive, Tyler and Kevin were brilliant instructors and had us in case anything went wrong. We saw amazing fish, lake Malawi really is one of the best int he world and swam alongside catfish. We managed to get back just in time for the insanely beautiful sunset across the lake. We had more trouble getting a boat (they never ever come when they say they will :/) the next day and ended up missing Rachael's birthday celebrations in Mzuzu on the Friday night but MK 300,000 was just too expensive for a boat across the lake. So we returned to Mango and the NEXT day we had a utterly painful trip across the lake. Four hours waiting, eight hours travelling had us absolutely drained. Emma was hit in the face by a crate of fish and concussed, The tarpaulin came off the boat during the storm and had us all packed together in a mix of claustrophic, overcrowded, fish infested boat of horror. We were all fed up by the end to say the least. Getting off that boat was the greatest feeling possible. We were soaking wet, smelled like every type of fish Malawi had to offer and had managed to lose a fair few items of clothing. Despite all of this, the trip had been amazing and now all we wanted was to get back to our placements and rest. Of course this wasn't going to be for another while due to typical Malawian transport and the fact that we were wrecked beyond belief. We were back in Nkhata and all we wanted was to sleep. And sleep we did.

   This was about two weeks ago now, keeping the blog completely up to date is much harder than I ever thought but I'll keep it going and will give more news about what we're up to next time. I'm getting married in two weeks to Peter (Mtende chair - there's a dress hired and a generator rented, dances being rehearsed and a feast planned!), don't worry...I hopefully won't be signing anything as it's a mock wedding for fundraising but more about that next time. Apparently I cannot pronounce th's and am being endlessly slagged about it by the Aussies, I've been a bit sick but am on meds so will hopefully get over the worst of it. I wish I could skype and call people easily but I got letters last week and a package from my adorable mother which smelled so much like home that i nearly cried. The month holiday is in two weeks and we have big plans for a trip to Zambia to see Vic falls and Tanzania for a bitta Serengeti and Zanzibar. We're making great headway with the youth and HIV/AIDS groups, having big discussions and making plans to spread civic and health education throughout the surrounding villages of Livingstonia. This high speed internet in Mzuzu coffee den is an absolute god-send and hopefully I'll be able to get on more in due course. I miss home a lot but I am constantly reminded that I need to make the very most of this experience and with time flying now, I have a feeling it will be over sooner rather than later! We've cut down on the biscuits and the mountain walks have become a tad less strenuous but sheesh, we need to get more fit if we're going to tackle Mount Mulanje in a few months! Hand sanitizer, rehydration salts and masking tape are the three greatest inventions on earth just...fyi. This is see you later, please ignore spelling/grammar errors, I've been working on this entry for so long but there is so much to include and no time to include it that I end up waffling like a leaving cert English student in the last ten minutes of English paper two. My camera won't let me upload...no SD card reader but maybe Malawi will surprise me and produce one at..some stage. We've had two crappy solar batteries thus far and cannot charge our phones but luckily Toby and Will have electricity so we use them for that...:P Also their amazing couch! SO freakin good. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes, can't wait to tell you all about the new projects we have lined up. Africa gets less frustrating and more wonderful everyday, let's hope everything runs smoothly for the next five months. Peace out (: