It is only at this
blog post, this mzuzu weekend, this internet opportunity, this time: more than four months in
to my African experience that I've realised just how much I have changed. I cannot
pinpoint these changes, I may not even be able to tell you how I have changed. All
I know is that I feel different. That the person I was when I left and the person
I am now are two different young women. I am still Jenny: happy, crazy, slow, unpunctual
and erratic Jenny but I can imagine only those closest to me would be able to point
out the changes that have come about in me. And how could I not change? I have ran
through maize fields at sunset chanting songs and getting lost with a hundred or
so primary students; I have crammed into trucks, buses, vans, cars, boats to reach
any and every destination, I have swam in the beautiful, clear Malawian waters at
sunrise, strolled through bustling, baffling African markets, spent hours on hot
buses, gospel music blaring, head reeling and still felt happy. I have dealt with
crushing homesickness, conflicting emotions, fear for others, desperate worry and
intense frustration. I have managed to break down language, cultural and stigmated
barriers in order to teach my students. I have walked anxiously with cheetahs, jumped
114 metres in terror, hiked neverending sand dunes, sang/danced in front of strangers
and spent evenings talking to people I've only known for ten minutes or maybe ten
weeks as if I have known them forever. So many weird and wonderful things. I hope
I have changed for the better, I feel better. doing absolutely everything for yourself
and in completely new, strange circumstances
certainly makes an impact. More and more lately Emma and I are realising just how
difficult it will be to leave this place. The thought that we won't wake up to the
sound of the waterfall crashing down the mountain at all times of day or that we
won't fall asleep to the crickets singing at night. That we won't hear Prince's
little baby laugh, walking up and down the road from school to Mtende with the nursery
kids singing 'we are jumping' or that strange buzzing we always hear in the gardens
but we have no idea what it is.... Not doing our uphill walk to school everyday..actually,
that walk is a royal pain, don't think we'll miss that so much. How can we possibly
leave this life behind? How can we leave behind all of those we've worked, lived
and shared with; those whom we now care so much about? Just some of the questions
that tear at us daily, turning us into emotional wrecks ever since returning from
the holiday only a week ago. We don't yet know if it was the seperation in general,
the fact that most people had thought we had left for good and were so happy to
see us again. Or maybe because we've finally realised how little time we have left
here. It's all so conflicting but some great things have come from this mental,
emotional drain. We've kicked into volunteering gear seriously this term with so
many plans our heads might implode. Us and Will and Toby are in Mzuzu this weekend
to not only sort out that disaster of a car we rented (there's more to the story
!) but to buy paint, shelving, cushions and toys for the Mtende nursery with donations
from home. The kids deserve the attention and a place where they can feel comfortable
and happy so we're very happy to do it, we can't wait to see their faces once it's
done! Emma and I have introduced a method of monitoring sanitation at the school
through records of hygiene and ensuring that every learner will at one stage be
in charge of picking up litter, replacing water and soap for handwashing and checking
that there is always ash and soil for the compost toilets. We'll also be running
hygiene classes with the girls in the community who are stuck in a culture where
being on your period is considered unclean and impure, where asking questions about
your body is usually wrong and strange, where there are no proper washing facilities
and soap is a commodity you simply cannot afford after food. A teaching course with
the Mantchewe teachers is underway to finally tackle the problem with English comprehension;
speaking, reading....everything really, especially the general teaching methods
among teachers in the area. Ben and Rachael will be helping us to encourage the
teachers to adopt new practices to benefit them and their learners...I guess this
is our chance to leave a lasting impression on this community, and we're going to
use it. Emma has started doing more work in the garden and I've been tutoring Manu
and Kettie on a Tuesday afternoon in History and Geography - which is insanely interesting
for me too! The kid's atlas is hilarious though, Ireland is full of pictures of
Guinness, shamrocks and potatoes while Australia is laden with Kangaroos, AFL (Australian
football league - I know too much about it now..) and emus. Stereotypes are ridiculous...but
very usually true ! So all of those things will fill the rest of our days in Malawi
and we are more than determined to make the most of that time. :-)
I left off the blog in Zambia, I had just jumped
off a bridge over a waterfall and had been nearly ambushed by a wild elephant. Hmmm.
We had a good sampling of the wild Livingstone nightlife too from touristy to local
bars, realising that alcohol is just too cheap, getting lost in taxis and dancing
in the street.From there we hopped off to Namibia with two exceptionally lovely people we meet and spent a lot of time with in Livingstone: Tom from Australia and Anna from Russia. After a few too many unfruitful hours trying to convince Michael to come to Namibia (he's a stubborn little yoke!) the car group split and Emma, Toby, Will, Grace, our new friends and I leapt on the bus to Windhoek capital of Namibia on a journey that would last a little under 24 hours. We would be meeting Rosie, Rachael, Ruby, Adam and George there and with that the next part of our journey was underway. The views were exceptional and the bus comfortable but despite being promised that we would reach the Namibian border before closing at 6pm, it was not to me. And no, we were not going to get our $84 back like the nice man at the ticket office had said, of course we weren't. So we waited and waited and we waited for the Zambian border staff to let us out as the Namibian border were nice enough to wait for us but no, it just wasn't happening. The bus company were sweet as and bought us dinner in a border restaurant and we got friendly with the locals over grapetizer and started a bit of a disco in the grocery. Music blaring, we danced our way through our stay at the Namib border, getting stuck there was one of the best things that could have happened! Unfortunately we're pretty sure the music kept the bus awake all night and so getting on at about 4 am, we had a few pissed off Zambians awaiting us. The next day they found out we were volunteer teachers in Malawi, working for seven months in disadvantaged areas and they were more than surprised! Yet they still felt the need to blare the christian tunes and play lots of soul-cleansing videos just to y'know, guide us in the right direction. TIA (this is Africa!). We slept on the bus, a new hobby of our's...sleeping on buses is just the norm. At 6am we passed through the Namibian border, a few stamps on the ole passport that simply couldn't have been done yesterday! We soon got used to Namibian dollars as we discovered that Namibia sold smarties and other western goodies. The views were utterly spectacular, from sand dunes to forests and skyrise cities.
Getting to Windhoek was the biggest shock, even in the darkness we could see that it was much more developed than most African capitals. Namibia was colonised by Germany and so the street signs, ingredient lists, newspapers and many of the people are all German. The bus drivers were nice enough to take us all the way to the cardboard box backpackers where we soon found someone to drive us to KFC...up the road. (note to all fellow veggies, KFC doesn't do anything without chicken, simple fact of life). We spent about three days in Windhoek soaking up actual food like Italian canneloni and pizza. We were in a shopping centre, that was a big deal. We went to see a film (Oz the great and powerful) but cracked up the whole way through at how horrific it was, maybe western comforts aren't all they're cracked up to be after three months in Africa... From a night of 8 jagerbombs in 2 hours at happy hour to singing 'You can call me Al' with Will at a German karaoke bar, we thoroughly enjoyed the inexpensive highlife in Windhoek. It was hard to ignore the poverty which so shockingly contrasted with the wealth in Namibia's capital though... Windhoek was like some alternate reality version of Miami, palm trees and long highways but just outside there were neverending sand dunes and people crammed into slums on the edge of town. There are of course these situations in Malawi but the stark contrast here was a little disturbing. We were keen to see the famous dunes of Namibia and so found a cheap safari to Swakopmund in the west, on the Atlantic coast. It went through sossusvlei where we hiked Dune 45 (SAND DUNES NEVER END BLAAAH!) at sunset, saw the 'highest sand dune in the world' but didn't hike it cause we were ahem, too busy (lazy) ...there was NO TIME!!! We saw deadvlei, the incredibly peaceful and beautiful grey landscape of 900 year old trees that are still standing and got very excited taking photos of us doing human pyramids, we're a bit sad...as you may have noticed. We stayed in desert campsites around Western Namibia, one with scorpians all over the place, one where you could see the Milkyway clear and bright above you, one with a swimming pool and a bar, one where jackals visited you as you slept in your tent. We visited the second largest canyon in the world and headed for Swakopmund to do our sandboarding and quadbiking in the Namib desert. That was certainly an experience alright...I'm thinking quadbiking isn't my thing considering I fell off the yoke on a sharp turn and ended up thinking I had a concussion for a good two days. Sandboarding resulted in a sick amount of sand in the face, ridiculous sand burns and collapsing at the top of the dune after walking back up. Maybe we shouldn't have asked our guide to wax the boards up good and well. Being in Namibia was incredible but I can honestly say we pined for a Malawi more than once, despite how much it frustrates us sometimes...the real Africa isn't shopping centres and getting your food at a reasonable time in a restaurant. Though Namibia WAS pretty crazy and Africa is crazy, simple as. Such as leaving from Swakopmund to Windhoek on a train....this trip takes less than four hours on a bus but interestingly enough it takes 11 hours on a train. If the train wasn't going 50km an hour it was going backwards. Luckily we had box wine, first class had cost only $2 extra, Grace and I had made friends with a cute German couple and they had a few cheeky dvds on the fuzzy tv. Four of the group had decided to head to South Africa with less than two weeks to go, two separate adventures ensued. Multiple bus trips later (some lasting 20 hours) we went from Livingstone to Lusaka and back to Lilongwe. In Livingstone we got to get up close and personal with cheetahs: a baby cheetah rolled onto Grace! And they pulled us along the paths through the forest, licked our hands; just about biting them. George made us lovely stirfrys every night and we happily swam, slept in our cute tent and enjoyed the luxory of Zambian Spar before heading back to Lusaka (leaving the bus depot resulted in a very heated discussion over the use of Mzungu with myself and a Zambian bus driver) and then on to Lilongwe. We hung out with Sam and Eloise over Indian in the backstreets and decided to end the holiday with a trip to Kasungu (central Malawi, the poorest placement) to visit Mike and Mike (yes, two Mike's have been placed together). The second we arrived we were swarmed by the cutest, most welcoming kids who squeled with joy at our presence, seeing Mzungu girls was too just good to be true. Rosie, Grace and I chased them around the maize fields for hours before the lovely teachers cooked us up a hearty Malawian meal at the front of the mud hut on the charcoal burner while the fireflies buzzed around our heads and we grew ever more shocked by the amount of oil and salt that Malawians use in cooking. We made the trip to Kamuzu Academy (the Eten of Africa in the middle of the poorest area in Malawi...) and were shocked by the swimming pools, tennis courts and beautifully designed halls. It seemed a little bit more than ridiculous when kids in ragged clothing are chasing you down the driveway asking for money. We watched Scooby Doo, ate rice and beans, made great use of the electricity in the guest house and realised that we much prefer the simple mud hut with candles and charcoal burners.
Since returning to the placement we've realised what's most important about this trip. I miss home intensely, but I love Africa. The spirit of the people, the beautiful views, the thinking space. EVeryday I grow more attached, more frustrated, more confused. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget this journey. Never has any experience in my life made me more aware, concerned and astonished about the world. I'm worried about returning, worried that I might crack and fly right back here but it's the people that will make me stay. My mom has been so supportive, sending me chalk, bombay mix, energy bars like the darling she is! My friends have sent letters, messages of news and memories. I have realised that primary teaching is without a doubt the route for me. I don't know what teaching kids at home will be like but here it's just amazing. Beingcalled Madame will never get old, gifts of suger cane and oranges from children whose parents can't afford to buy plastic for their leaking rooves who always insist that you accept, seeing their improvement, interest and enthusiam grow by the day. It's just fantastic. I wouldn't be surprised if I come back one day. The thought of not seeing Veronica, Thoku, Vushani, Bishop, Peter ever again is heartbreaking. I have grown so attached in admiration and respect for these people. From visiting the most humble people...wanting to help them in buying maize with the money raised from the mock wedding, shaking hands with anyone and everyone and being able to converse in their local language, hopping on a minibus for four euro and making it across a country...I do love this place. It greatly affects your heart, mind, your body (eeesh!). Oh, the phrase eeesh is essential in Malawi. For markets when the price is too high, when someone says something ridiculous, when you make a mistake, fall over, anything. Such a versatile phrase. We have found our new favourite place: BananaCoffeeLovely restaurant where our main lady makes us eggs and beans with rice (always rice...SOMUCHRICE). Em and I spend any free evenings on the porch sewing, having endless discussions about development, about the mystery and apparent magical ways of the 'white man', why we came here and what will happen when we leave, whether we should have come here or not when at the end of the day we will leave. Watching Blood Diamond definitely messed me up a bit too much. I've been listening to lots of Arcade Fire, but that's just lovely. We're in Cape McClear right now (this blog has spanned over a good three weeks,internet is a mission!) and the people swim with you in the lake, they laugh and you trying to speak Chichewa and the sunset is the most glorious thing I have ever seen. I've gone a bit mad, I don't think I've ever thought so much in my life but I am happy. I so hope that the time we have left here can be filled with useful lessons for everyone and lasting impressions. I hope I can continue learning and I now know that these people, this country has much more to give me than I ever had to give them. For that, I am truly greatful.
Getting to Windhoek was the biggest shock, even in the darkness we could see that it was much more developed than most African capitals. Namibia was colonised by Germany and so the street signs, ingredient lists, newspapers and many of the people are all German. The bus drivers were nice enough to take us all the way to the cardboard box backpackers where we soon found someone to drive us to KFC...up the road. (note to all fellow veggies, KFC doesn't do anything without chicken, simple fact of life). We spent about three days in Windhoek soaking up actual food like Italian canneloni and pizza. We were in a shopping centre, that was a big deal. We went to see a film (Oz the great and powerful) but cracked up the whole way through at how horrific it was, maybe western comforts aren't all they're cracked up to be after three months in Africa... From a night of 8 jagerbombs in 2 hours at happy hour to singing 'You can call me Al' with Will at a German karaoke bar, we thoroughly enjoyed the inexpensive highlife in Windhoek. It was hard to ignore the poverty which so shockingly contrasted with the wealth in Namibia's capital though... Windhoek was like some alternate reality version of Miami, palm trees and long highways but just outside there were neverending sand dunes and people crammed into slums on the edge of town. There are of course these situations in Malawi but the stark contrast here was a little disturbing. We were keen to see the famous dunes of Namibia and so found a cheap safari to Swakopmund in the west, on the Atlantic coast. It went through sossusvlei where we hiked Dune 45 (SAND DUNES NEVER END BLAAAH!) at sunset, saw the 'highest sand dune in the world' but didn't hike it cause we were ahem, too busy (lazy) ...there was NO TIME!!! We saw deadvlei, the incredibly peaceful and beautiful grey landscape of 900 year old trees that are still standing and got very excited taking photos of us doing human pyramids, we're a bit sad...as you may have noticed. We stayed in desert campsites around Western Namibia, one with scorpians all over the place, one where you could see the Milkyway clear and bright above you, one with a swimming pool and a bar, one where jackals visited you as you slept in your tent. We visited the second largest canyon in the world and headed for Swakopmund to do our sandboarding and quadbiking in the Namib desert. That was certainly an experience alright...I'm thinking quadbiking isn't my thing considering I fell off the yoke on a sharp turn and ended up thinking I had a concussion for a good two days. Sandboarding resulted in a sick amount of sand in the face, ridiculous sand burns and collapsing at the top of the dune after walking back up. Maybe we shouldn't have asked our guide to wax the boards up good and well. Being in Namibia was incredible but I can honestly say we pined for a Malawi more than once, despite how much it frustrates us sometimes...the real Africa isn't shopping centres and getting your food at a reasonable time in a restaurant. Though Namibia WAS pretty crazy and Africa is crazy, simple as. Such as leaving from Swakopmund to Windhoek on a train....this trip takes less than four hours on a bus but interestingly enough it takes 11 hours on a train. If the train wasn't going 50km an hour it was going backwards. Luckily we had box wine, first class had cost only $2 extra, Grace and I had made friends with a cute German couple and they had a few cheeky dvds on the fuzzy tv. Four of the group had decided to head to South Africa with less than two weeks to go, two separate adventures ensued. Multiple bus trips later (some lasting 20 hours) we went from Livingstone to Lusaka and back to Lilongwe. In Livingstone we got to get up close and personal with cheetahs: a baby cheetah rolled onto Grace! And they pulled us along the paths through the forest, licked our hands; just about biting them. George made us lovely stirfrys every night and we happily swam, slept in our cute tent and enjoyed the luxory of Zambian Spar before heading back to Lusaka (leaving the bus depot resulted in a very heated discussion over the use of Mzungu with myself and a Zambian bus driver) and then on to Lilongwe. We hung out with Sam and Eloise over Indian in the backstreets and decided to end the holiday with a trip to Kasungu (central Malawi, the poorest placement) to visit Mike and Mike (yes, two Mike's have been placed together). The second we arrived we were swarmed by the cutest, most welcoming kids who squeled with joy at our presence, seeing Mzungu girls was too just good to be true. Rosie, Grace and I chased them around the maize fields for hours before the lovely teachers cooked us up a hearty Malawian meal at the front of the mud hut on the charcoal burner while the fireflies buzzed around our heads and we grew ever more shocked by the amount of oil and salt that Malawians use in cooking. We made the trip to Kamuzu Academy (the Eten of Africa in the middle of the poorest area in Malawi...) and were shocked by the swimming pools, tennis courts and beautifully designed halls. It seemed a little bit more than ridiculous when kids in ragged clothing are chasing you down the driveway asking for money. We watched Scooby Doo, ate rice and beans, made great use of the electricity in the guest house and realised that we much prefer the simple mud hut with candles and charcoal burners.
Since returning to the placement we've realised what's most important about this trip. I miss home intensely, but I love Africa. The spirit of the people, the beautiful views, the thinking space. EVeryday I grow more attached, more frustrated, more confused. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget this journey. Never has any experience in my life made me more aware, concerned and astonished about the world. I'm worried about returning, worried that I might crack and fly right back here but it's the people that will make me stay. My mom has been so supportive, sending me chalk, bombay mix, energy bars like the darling she is! My friends have sent letters, messages of news and memories. I have realised that primary teaching is without a doubt the route for me. I don't know what teaching kids at home will be like but here it's just amazing. Beingcalled Madame will never get old, gifts of suger cane and oranges from children whose parents can't afford to buy plastic for their leaking rooves who always insist that you accept, seeing their improvement, interest and enthusiam grow by the day. It's just fantastic. I wouldn't be surprised if I come back one day. The thought of not seeing Veronica, Thoku, Vushani, Bishop, Peter ever again is heartbreaking. I have grown so attached in admiration and respect for these people. From visiting the most humble people...wanting to help them in buying maize with the money raised from the mock wedding, shaking hands with anyone and everyone and being able to converse in their local language, hopping on a minibus for four euro and making it across a country...I do love this place. It greatly affects your heart, mind, your body (eeesh!). Oh, the phrase eeesh is essential in Malawi. For markets when the price is too high, when someone says something ridiculous, when you make a mistake, fall over, anything. Such a versatile phrase. We have found our new favourite place: BananaCoffeeLovely restaurant where our main lady makes us eggs and beans with rice (always rice...SOMUCHRICE). Em and I spend any free evenings on the porch sewing, having endless discussions about development, about the mystery and apparent magical ways of the 'white man', why we came here and what will happen when we leave, whether we should have come here or not when at the end of the day we will leave. Watching Blood Diamond definitely messed me up a bit too much. I've been listening to lots of Arcade Fire, but that's just lovely. We're in Cape McClear right now (this blog has spanned over a good three weeks,internet is a mission!) and the people swim with you in the lake, they laugh and you trying to speak Chichewa and the sunset is the most glorious thing I have ever seen. I've gone a bit mad, I don't think I've ever thought so much in my life but I am happy. I so hope that the time we have left here can be filled with useful lessons for everyone and lasting impressions. I hope I can continue learning and I now know that these people, this country has much more to give me than I ever had to give them. For that, I am truly greatful.
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